79+ BEST Petty Captions and Petty Quotes

Short Petty Captions for Instagram and Cool Funny Petty Instagram Quotes For Girls and Boys in 2022 (Copy-Paste).

Short Petty Captions for Instagram and Cool Funny Petty Instagram Quotes For Girls and Boys in 2022 (Copy-Paste).


Petty Instagram Captions and Petty Quotes



Petty Instagram Captions and Petty Quotes

You don’t need a king to be a queen.

You can’t afford my Swag ! #selfie

You can call me queen bee.

Let the waves crash and the sun is set and the boy leave

My heart only breaks for you

No one to blame but myself

Turn ya savage up and lose ya feelings.

There’s always a wild side to an innocent face.

Sore today. Strong tomorrow.

“After me, they broke the mold.”

“Always prove them wrong.”

“Blame it on my cold heart.”

“Blood type: matte black with a hint of gold.”

“Confidence level: selfie with no filter.”

“Don’t check for me unless you have a check for me.”

“Find me where the wild things are.”

“I don’t work for the money, I make the money work for me.”

“I gotta stop giving CPR to dead situations.”

“I live my life in fast forward, but they haters wanna rewind me.”

“I wouldn’t chase you because I’m the catch.”

“I’m a vibe that no one else can replace.”

“I’m the truth, so hold your lies.”

I love my insta because it gives me a chance to be myself.

My insta friends are the only ones that I really trust.

instagram is my favorite social media app because it lets me be myself!

The name of my insta should definitely be "I can't believe I drank so much."

It's time to start making insta plans.

I'm so glad I got an invite for my first insta!

My insta is better than yours...and if you don't believe me, it's private!

insta over everyone else inna.

Can't wait until I delete this stupid thing and stop caring about what people think!

I don't care if you unfollow me, at least I know my insta is better than yours.

I'm so glad I don't care about my insta reputation.

You think you're so cool because your Instagram has 500 followers...

well my insta account only follows five people, and I'm one of them!

 

Petty Instagram Captions For Ex

My best friend just followed me on my private instagram! #blessed

I have more followers on my insta than you do.

“Life goes on, with or without you.”

Refuse to let small, petty people distract you from your big purpose.

Beware of those who attribute petty instructions to God.

Petty things don't bother me as much as they used to.

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

Be master of your petty annoyances and conserve your energies for the big, worthwhile things.

The petty man wants to use God for himself, the ambitious man wants God to use him for God.

I fly because it releases my mind from the tyranny of petty things.

Guilt is petty. I am above guilt.

“Not everybody has to like me. I can’t force you to have good taste.”

“She has fire in her soul and grace in her heart.”

“Take me as I am, or watch me as I go.”

“The only way you’ll win is if I quit.”

“The same ol’ me, just a little bit more fabulous.”

Queens do not compete with hoes.

Proof that I can do selfies better than you.

Life isn’t perfect. But my Hair is!

Don’t stop me now!

People hate you because of the way that other people love you.

There comes an age where u realize smile is all you needed, to live happily! And that’s I gotta this life!

A smile doesn’t mean that someone likes you.

Always believe in yourself. But I’ll believe in myself.

Be brave. Make them curious.

Breakups are like a box of chocolates: you never know what your gonna get!

He was my lobster...now we're just friends.

The breakup was mutual...sadly it wasn't the cheating.

They say you always remember your first love....they can keep him

He's a loser and I don't miss him.

They say once a cheater always a cheater...so he can keep her

I tried to be friends with the ex, but it didn't work out between us.

You can have them back now! You're not my type anyways!

I'm single, and I don't need them!

Focus on success. Not gossiping.

Fools talk about others.

Hate me till you’re tired. So you won’t hate me anymore.

So, don’t blame me for my attitude.

I prefer my coffee like I prefer my men: strong and bitter.

When life gives me lemons, someone dies!

If you're reading this, I'm probably snoozing.

I'd rather be reading books than wasting time on here.

You can't see me, but I'm rolling my eyes.

Totally #unbothered right now!

It's smallness is not petty. On the contrary, it is profound.

An ambition to excel in petty things obstructs the progress to nobler aims.

My secrets are petty but humiliating.

Party loyalty lowers the greatest men to the petty level of the masses.

Reproof should not exhaust its power upon petty failings

Petty laws breed great crimes.

No more, you petty spirits of region low offend our hearing

I'll be there in a minute...after this episode is over.

What happened last night? I don't remember anything!

I'm so over this selfie trend.

I don't always take a selfie, but when I do...I delete it.

Tell me not to do something, I’ll do it twice and take a picture.

I'm not sure if I should ask you to be my friend or buy this for $20.

I don't think that outfit is flattering...and also, it makes me sad inside.

I'm not a doctor, but I am pretty sure that's herpes on your lip.

Can you please stop trying to take my picture?

I don't think those shoes go with that outfit at all! #noshoesmatchtheoutfit

"My mom is going to kill me if she sees this photo." -said no one ever

I don't always lose weight by running away from cookies...but when I do, it works.

I had a drink the other day...and then I decided to have another one.

When you want Cinderella's dress but all they have is 'Ariel' in your size!

When your mom says you can't dye your hair orange because it doesn't look good on redheads but then she does it herself.

My fairy godmother told me I would go to the ball, and now here I am!

Nope, nothing is wrong with me except your face. Lol...just kidding ๐Ÿ˜‰

I'm going to delete this photo as soon as I figure out how.

I, for one, am shocked that this selfie didn't get more likes...shocked!

I think that is why they call them 'happy' memories instead of 'perfect' memories.

It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Then it's hilarious!

I feel sorry for people that don't drink because when they wake up in the morning, that is the best they are going to feel all day.

A bad attitude will get you everywhere...just not into my car!

I'm not clumsy, I just have a lot of magic in my hands.

I was going to make a joke but then something terrible happened and I forgot what it was!

 

Petty Instagram Captions For Guys

I feel so blessed to have the opportunity of being a blessing.

I'm not trying to be funny, but it's kinda hard when you're this cute!

I'm just here for the free drinks!

This is not my life. This is a nightmare!

I don't always look this good...sometimes I even get out of bed on the wrong side!

If you can read this, then we're in trouble and I need more coffee.

People say I'm pretty and witty... so why can't anyone hold onto a man?

You don't have to read my mind to know that it hates you right now!

Some people say I don't think before I speak...but they can never understand my genius because they aren't as smart as me.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.

That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes!

I was born with my eyes closed...maybe that's why they are always shut.

If I had one wish it would be for more wishes to come true.

The other day I was thinking about what makes me happy...then I thought, "I know!"

They say laughter is the best medicine. That's why my doctor gives me a new prescription every month!

My reputation precedes me because it usually follows behind.

You're only young once but you can always be immature!

If you're nice to me, I'll be mean to you.

I'm not trying to be a creep, I just can't help it... it's my life, and you'll have to deal with me!

I've been waiting for my life to begin, but I think it may have already ended!

Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart.

I don't know what's going on right now, but I'm pretty sure it's not good.

I've got 99 problems and they all stem from my terrible boyfriend!

I love the person who thinks this is an actual quote by me... don't ruin this for them, please?

My sense of humour doesn't always translate well to text...

I was just looking at my phone and then suddenly the sky became dark.

When a monkey put on makeup. It still the same monkey.

Your Priorities Decides Your Attitude!!

Life Goes on.

This is what makes me keep going!!

My selfies are so great, it's going to be hard for you to top them.

 

Petty Instagram Captions For Haters

I look like such a baddie in this photo that I had no choice but to post it ๐Ÿ™‚

You're probably mad because your life isn't as interesting as mine...

You're only mad because I look better than you even when my hair is a mess

Too bad you can’t photoshop an ugly personality!

We are all made in the image of God!

We should not envy one another and applaud one another upon achievement!Be

yourself, there's no one better!

I like my coffee like I like my men...hot and black!

She's so beautiful she doesn't even try anymore.

I'm just chilling in bed still not over summer break yet.

I can't even deal right now, I need a moment!

It's called fashion because it goes out of style eventually.

The struggle is real guys...the struggle is real.

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

My life is so hard, I wish it was winter break already!

I can't even deal with how good looking I am today... it's annoying!

I know I’m lucky that I’m so cute.

Being awkward is just another way to say that I'm paying attention.

Just because you're not perfect doesn't mean you're not amazing.

I’ve lived a lot, I’ve loved a lot, and I’ve lost a lot.

But through all of that, I still have a sense of humor.

Life is what happens while you’re making other plans.

You must do something. There’s no use being sad because you’re going to die.

Life is like a box of chocolates: You never know what you’re gonna get.

You might as well go ahead and laugh, ’cause if you’ve got your health, you’ve got everything!

The most important thing in life is to learn how to give up, so that you may live.

Be kind to everyone on the way to work because they’re probably having a bad day too.

You can’t have one without the other, and if you’re a human being, you’ll always be in trouble.

People are like faucets, best to turn them off for a while.

I have a little black book, and in it, I’ve listed all the people who have ever hurt me… and why.

It's okay to be weird - in fact, it's kind of awesome!

I'm the best me I can possibly be today... and that is more than good enough for me.

"I wouldn't chase you because I'm the catch."

"I'm a vibe that no one else can replace."

Turn ya savage up and lose ya feelings.

There's always a wild side to an innocent face.

Sore today. Strong tomorrow.

Queens do not compete with hoes.

Proof that I can do selfies better than you.

Life isn't perfect. But my Hair is!

I know I'm lucky that I'm so cute.

I am Mine before anyone else.

"Life goes on, with or without you."

"Not everybody has to like me. I can't force you to have good taste."

"She has fire in her soul and grace in her heart."

"Take me as I am, or watch me as I go."

"I'm the truth, so hold your lies."

You don't need a king to be a queen.

My ex is about as useful as one of those little umbrellas in your drink!

I'm not passing you a tissue. Get your own!

Not sure which is more annoying, the sound of crying or his face?

I don't care about your opinion... #YourFaceSucks

I'll never be as good at it as I was with you.

My life is better now that you're not in it!

Life isn’t perfect. But my Hair is!

Proof that I can do selfies better than you.

Sore today. Strong tomorrow.

They can keep him. He's not my type anyway...

In a relationship with what's his name...

Nobody is perfect. But I know one thing about perfection… it’s not for sale.

You can’t just “take back your feelings.” You have to earn them.

Losing your mind may be a sign of having a mind to lose.

Life’s not fair. It’s the rest of us who got the short end of the stick.

It’s hard to be happy if you’re always complaining about your life.

You’re not so smart, are you?

 

Petty Instagram Captions For Fake Friends

Do you ever worry about the fate of humanity?

It’s never too late for a second chance.

He's so cute when he doesn't get his way.

Can someone please take this selfie for me? My arm is tired.

Life's a beach and then you tan...I'm golden brown. #blessed

If looks could kill, it would be illegal to call me cute right now.

I'm not a bad driver, I just lack good judgement.

If you don't believe me when I say that my life is pretty awesome then!

#noshadesinthepicture

I'm not mad, I just don't like you anymore.

I'm not mad you're gone, I just don't like myself.

My imaginary boyfriend says he misses me too, so it's all good!

The breakup isn't the best part of my day...but it's definitely up there.

I did not sign up for this.

They don’t care about you anyway. You are the one person they really want to see happy.

If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Sometimes, silence is golden.

If someone gives you a compliment, thank him/her. Don’t just look at the person’s

The best things in life aren’t things. They are experiences.

A man is never free who does not know how to give himself away freely.

Love is the most fragile thing we have in this world, it breaks so easily.

Love is a gift you give to yourself.

No man is an island, entire of itself. It is not made up of parts.

You’re too good for this world, and I’m too stupid for you.

I know what you did last summer and I will not forget about it!

I'm always honest coz I don't care about someone hating me.

Be brave. Make them curious.

Focus on success. Not gossiping.

Fools talk about others.

Hate me till you're tired. So you won't hate me anymore.

I don't care if you don't like me coz I ain't sure that you like yourself too.

I don't dress smart to impress you.

My only problem with glass is it's empty. I like things to be full... of wine that is ๐Ÿ˜€

I'm not perfect, but I do have a good selfie game!

I don't trust people who can't dance. Everyone can dance... it's just about finding the right beat.

Don't try to be someone else… you are amazing just as you are!

You will never understand my style unless you've been me for a day!

There’s always a wild side to an innocent face.

Turn ya savage up and lose ya feelings.

You can call me queen bee.

Born to stand out with selfies.

I’m sorry I exist, here, a selfie.

My favorite part about this selfie is the invisible crown.

Oh wow, a selfie.

Real men don’t take selfies.

People take 300 selfies just to post one.

This is the only one I took.

I'm all about that bass, no treble.

Live life like you're already famous.

Just another day in paradise... with me!

I might delete this later.

I'm fabulous, why shouldn't my selfie be?

 

Short Petty Instagram Captions

There's too much blood in my alcohol stream.

I like to pose with things that I buy... and then eat them.

Fashion: it doesn't have to make sense as long as you look hot doing it!

When life gives me lemons, I take pictures of them.

I'm not here to impress you... but myself!

This is proof that I can do selfies better than you.

Selfie, selfie, on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?

Selfie on fleek.

This is how to become a heart breaker.

No guts, no story.

Life isn't perfect. But my Hair is!

Proof that I can do selfies better than you

I'm so tired of being tired. So now I don't care.

Just because I don't use words doesn't mean my vocabulary sucks.

Stop talking about people. Talk about things.

You don’t need a king to be a queen.

No revenge is the best revenge.

If you think I am the problem, you are the problem creator.

I’m always honest coz I don’t care someone hating me.

The lion doesn’t turn when a small dog barks.

I’m not fabulous. I’m simple.

I’m so tired of being tired. So now I don’t care.

Just because I don’t use words doesn’t mean my vocabulary sucks.

Stop talking abut people. Talk about things.

The lion doesn’t turn when a small dog barks.

I’m literally thinking since 5 mins for a caption and this is it

It doesn't matter how many friends they have, as long as they stay loyal!

You think it's over? It is now!

We don't need this friendship anyway, so why bother continuing.

She's just a phase, it'll blow over soon...right?

"Yeah, we used to be friends." - "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah but then she said this one thing and well..."

I'm not sorry, I never liked you anyway!

You're no longer on my list of people to care about...bye-bye now ๐Ÿ™‚

I don't know what you did, but I'm sure it's your fault!

It was all her idea #NotMyFault

I’m not here to make friends.

It’s Mission Impossible

Just relax

Know your worth!

At least now the only person I have to fight over is myself.

If all exes looked like you then I would never leave my house.

It's weird how I never see him anymore...

He couldn't handle me on my worst day, so he must really hate me now.

You're not sorry, you just hate losing.

I'll be seeing you soon...in my nightmares!

Your ex is my next profile pic

Saving all my likes for myself from now on.

I'm sorry I was so much better than you!

I'm sunshine mixed with a little hurricane

Never liked them anyway

 

Petty Captions Puns

I'm much too busy doing my own thing to be bothered with you

Forgive and forget!

Sucks for you, good luck finding a new one.

I just do me and you should try it sometime.

I'm better than you

Took you long enough to figure that out.

Much easier this way!

I'm done with all your games #gameover

Some things are just not meant to be...meant for me anyway.

Hey, I told them it wasn't my fault so don't blame me!

I'd rather have my ex's arms around me than your face in front of me.

My new bae is better than an old flame any day!

don't miss you, I just miss things being easier.

I don’t have to be famous to be successful.

I don’t mind being underrated by someone who doesn’t know me well.

No revenge is the best revenge.

If you think I am the problem, you are the problem creator.

I’m always honest coz I don’t care someone hating me.

The lion doesn’t turn when a small dog barks.

I’m not fabulous, I’m simple.

I’m so tired of being tired. So now I don’t care.

Just because I don’t use words doesn’t mean my vocabulary sucks.

Stop talking about people. Talk about things.

The lion doesn’t turn when a small dog barks.

The reason you don’t see my intelligence is the same reason.

“After me, they broke the mold.”

“Always prove them wrong.”

“Blame it on my cold heart.”

“Blood type: matte black with a hint of gold.”

“Confidence level: selfie with no filter.”

“Don’t check for me unless you have a check for me.”

“Find me where the wild things are.”

“I don’t work for the money, I make the money work for me.”

“I gotta stop giving CPR to dead situations.”

“I’m a vibe that no one else can replace.”

“I’m the truth, so hold your lies.”

“Life goes on, with or without you.”

“Not everybody has to like me. I can’t force you to have good taste.”

 

 

Petty Instagram Captions For Ex Friends

“She has fire in her soul and grace in her heart.”

Don't worry about it...we're over for a good reason

Nobody can stand up for you if you don’t stand up for yourself first!

Fake friends are like penny coins. They are worthless and have two faces.

Getting a hug from the right person at the right time feels like heaven!

I’m literally thinking for 5 mins for a caption and this is it

I’m not here to make friends.

It’s Mission Impossible

Nobody can stand up for you if you don’t stand up for yourself first!

Yeah that or, you can just be a total loser and let everyone step all over you for the rest of your life.

I know I’m lucky that I’m so cute.

I am Mine before anyone else.

I know I’m lucky that I’m so cute.

Life isn’t perfect. But my Hair is!

Proof that I can do selfies better than you.

Queens do not compete with hoes.

Sore today. Strong tomorrow.

There’s always a wild side to an innocent face.

Turn ya savage up and lose ya feelings.

You can call me queen bee.

I am Mine before anyone else.

 

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